Perception of love

Boston common, grave yard

Love?

Don't be silly, he says.

It does not even exist in this age.

Love is a trap that lil girls fall in,

think again,

do you really need love? says he.

Love?

I don't know, she says.

I never found it anyways.

Love is a mystery that makes you crave,

think again,

have you ever once not get hurt by it? says she.

Loved?

It happens, some says.

It came like an adrenaline but left unexpectedly.

Loved is hurtful because it became only memories,

thinking again,

was it really worth it? asks loved ones. 

Loving?

Its crazy, they say.

It is the reason for us to be living.

Loving someone is what we all hope for,

think about it again,

don't you want someone to be loving you back, 

says the person who loves you.

- Kah Mun

I wrote this awhile back, thought I would modify it a bit and post it up. 
What I have heard about love ♥.

Recently bought a Fujifilm Instax Neo Classical camera

It's a fun camera to experiment with,

but I learned that I should really read on how to use the setting guides before shooting.

Had some awkward coloured pictures coming up *if you know what i mean ;)

Been decorating my room a bit,

now I have my heels and camera corner :)

With pictures of my love and loved ones ♥

Thanksgiving is coming up, hoping everyone have a great week!

♥ Kah Mun

Inside

This pain inside
Heart pumping fine
Body healthy as ever
but the mind filled with thoughts
that hurts her deeper than ever.

I have felt sadness all my life
I have felt worst, I remember
But I dont know why
This time
It feels like it had drilled deeper.

This pain in my mind
Its not going anywhere for now
might as well just calm down
before the mind shuts down.

I thought it was going to work between us
I knew that you were someone special
now you're just like the ones who
ripped off my heart
like a thief that never got caught
let off by the corrupted governments
Cliche I thought.

This pain inside
increased when I smoke each time
Each puff signifies the pain you drilled inside
As the smoke disappear with air, I thought
why can't the pain do the same

It's then I realise,
though the smoke is invisible,
it still kills a dozen of people.
Just like the pain inside,
Invisible in my mind
Killing me alive.

Not knowing what was meant to be

Ever since I was born in to this world 
Where expectations are meant to meet.
I was lost with only fairytales to see,
not knowing about the future that I have to face,
only seen my dad's visions, 
and it was me to chase.

Don't know when did I first realise that life is so hard
once I was a kid with no regrets that last,
I was troublesome and ignorant as kids can be,
not knowing about the future that I will see,
only seen people in happy endings,
and it wasn't me.

Questions are meant to be asked,
but answers aren't necessary meant to be found.
I was thrown with questions that were never mine,
not knowing that the answer was mine to find,
only went along with the words from the people's mind,
and so i was blind.

A Dreamer that's what they say,
Realist will be what I call they,
I was being confuse by the "experienced" surrounded me,
not knowing what is true to my heart,
only got confused by their alphabets,
and it was terrible, you see
when you are awaken from dreams to reality. 

Things that you enjoy may not be accepted,
being accepted is a step before you share your dreams,
I am still confuse with how the world works,
not knowing what to do about the questions still left at me,
only know that i have a goal to achieve,
and it is to be - who I meant to be.

God, you taught me much

As I was born, I knew it,
that I was more than just living,
that I was more than just a thing,
I was a living thing, alive, created by God for a reason.
Made by my parents, brought up through guidance of many. (my unexpected angels)

As I was a child, I knew it,
that my life was different compared to many,
that my life was not the prettiest,
I was different and lived in a broken family,
Made to be mature compared to many, and never really fitted in. (typical yet different)

As I am a teen, I knew it,
that my life has to be better than this,
that my life has to achieve more than this,
I screwed many things up even though i tried so hard fixing it "right".
Made to learn by mistakes, yet never stop learning. (try to be perfect like many)

As I grow, I know,
life will never going to be perfectly perfect,
you start off learning about family,
then you move to friendship,
and you end up breaking through love.
Either sequence,
You still break once in a while.
But that's totally fine.

We are made by materials, so strong,
that we can almost bare any emotions thrown to us "hard".
We are made to tell stories, stories that not everyone will experience
but to learn and help others with it.

God, you taught me much,
sometimes I think it's too much,
but as I travel around,
You taught me enough,
you taught everyone equal,
depending on kinds on situation.

So God, I thank you,
though I never seen you,
but your transparence presences kept me living,
and I will do my best in serving you,
which is to live,
to learn,
and to understand why we live with your unseen presence.  

God, you taught me much.

The Bars Between Us : They Said

They Said

He's mysterious, most people said. 

He looks dangerous in the eyes of a man. 

But in reality, he is just the same,

Lost, Confused, and Hurt in a way.

She's stupid, someone once said.

She believes in love too easily and gave it to everyone she can.

But honestly, she's just naive and never had 

Love, Someone and Experience in her head.

He's charming, as all girls said.

He looks perfect in the minds of their heads.

But in reality, he is just the same,

Covered, Polished with make up everywhere.

She's easy, as all boys said.

She could be grab by any man with words so sweet that made her mad.

But honestly, she will change as

Time, Experience and Pain are lessons to be made.

He was hurt back then,

that made him not to trust,

and not to feel

Soulless as he is,

He is stuck in times of a past that kept him there.

She was taught back then,

that she has to think

and she has to plan

With a schedule like that,

Her mind only thinks about the future and consequences.

When both of them met,

the mysterious remains, and naive turns bad. 

He loved to play, but not to love.

She wants to give love, and to be loved.

But this love will never exist

as both are so different in a way.

When one lives for the past,

and the other lives for the future.

No one lives for the present.

Hence no love will be present, they said.

The bars between us.